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Joke of the Day

"Why are there no knock-knock jokes about freedom? because freedom rings. Happy Independence day everybody!"

"Today I've been cancer free for 19 years.. And it's also my 19th birthday, what a coincidence!"

"Sorry I said your mom's beef stroganoff was stroganawful."

"Behavioral (/ be_have_voyeural) Economics Q: why do some people pay WAY too much at auctions? A: more bid curiosity"

"Q: How do you have a party in outer space? A: You plan-et."

"How do hispanics cut a pizza? Little Caesars"

"[on a speed date] (okay don't let her know you're a zombie) ""so, what do you like best in a woman?"" BRAAAIIINNNSS"

"How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb None they'll all beat the room for being black."

"So cute how this taxi driver is taking an unnecessarily long route and driving slowly so he gets to spend more time with me."

"I had an eight course Irish dinner tonight. A six pack of beer, a potato, and a glass of whiskey to finish it off."