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Joke of the Day

"Why is Robert Pattison so pale? There's no sunlight in the closet."

"Why did the stonemason break up with the female con artist? She took him for granite."

"more celebrities should donate blood like could you imagine having the blood of Beyonce running through your veins"

"MOM DON'T COME IN!! *mom opens door & you're playing with pokemon, except they're real* HOW MUCH OF THE TRUTH ARE YOU READY TO HEAR MOM"

"There is a new Apple product in the Rogue One teaser trailer We don't know what it is yet, but at least now we know its name... ""iRebel"""

"""Well children"" said the cannibal cooking teacher. ""What did you make of the new English teacher?"" ""Burgers ma'am."""

"I just fake-went-to-the-bathroom to avoid someone. He followed me in. I don't think the pee noises I'm making with my mouth are working."

"My mom thought my laptop on the floor was a scale. My mom weighs 800 dollars"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. 7 also got herpes from 14 and stabbed 23 through 30 in a gang fight."

"What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell. She's got a grenade in her mouth."