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Joke of the Day

"Why did the stonemason break up with the female con artist? She took him for granite."

"If you think you could never kill another human being, you haven't met enough people."

"I just laid on my cat's keyboard while he was working on a last minute PowerPoint presentation."

"Hi I'm with the salad police. If you happen to see or hear any suspicious activity regarding renegade vegetables in your local area Please lettuce know"

"I eat my poo joke Knock knock...Who's there? I eat mop...I eat mop who?"

"Kid threw a rainbow slushee at my windshield .... Thought I hit a unicorn"

"Did you hear about the guy who's left arm and leg got cut off? He has **crippling** depression"

"What's the difference between friends and potatoes? Potatoes don't scream when you peel their skin and toss them in boiling water."

"I don't mind going to work. It's that eight-hour wait to go home that bugs me."

"The word ""methamphetamine"" looks like it was written by somebody using it."