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Joke of the Day

"There is a new Apple product in the Rogue One teaser trailer We don't know what it is yet, but at least now we know its name... ""iRebel"""

"Beyonce was Destiny's Child. The other two were adopted."

"Im tired of chasing people who wont chase me... from today on the ice cream man can go fuck himself."

"Why did the tornado get arrested? -For speeding theft vandalism assault and murder"

"What do you call the child of two parents with downs syndrome? A hand-me-down."

"To all the waiters out there: we don't get impressed when you try to memorize our orders, we just get nervous."

"Plumber: you have hard water. Me: you mean like ice?"

"There are a bunch of people shouting ""No Reds or Yellows!"" outside my gym I can't tell if they are supporting Trump or Team Mystic"

"Kids these days have it real easy. There weren't as many paedophiles in my day. I had to buy my own candy."

"I once stole a simile I made out like a bandit"