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Joke of the Day

"Parents: It's unfair to put your toddler on a leash if you're not going to also let them pee next to parked cars."

Next Joke
 
"People don't approve when I run up to them in the street & try to make plaster casts of their faces. At least that's the impression that I get."
"Were you born on Highway 22? Because I heard alot of accidents happened there."
"How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little ""boogie"" in it."
"I was in a job interview. ""What is your biggest strength?"" ""I am always on time."" ""And your biggest weakness?"" ""I get annoyed when my dealer is late."""
"My fairy godmother asked me if i wanted a long memory or a long penis... I don't remember what I said... ...but I have back problems now."
"I was at Morrisons earlier and the cashier asked a foreign couple if they needed help packing. I thought ""Fuck me, this is getting serious"""
"Marvel is making a ""Winter Soldier"" standalone film and I get to play his roly poly sidekick. They call me...the ""Summer Sausage"""
"Why are Fencers so popular on /r/Jokes? Because they do well with Ripostes."
"Sometimes it's fun to walk out of the ladies room licking your fingers."