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Joke of the Day

"Irishman Walks Out of A Bar"

"Me: I love you Him: you just drank 1/4 of your beer through your nostril Me: that is also true"

"Why couldn't Kim Kardashian see Caitlyn Jenner? Because she was trans-parent."

"Why are pirates never scared of a storm? Because they love torrents."

"You know you're too drunk to drive when you swerve to miss a tree then realise it was your air freshener."

"One time, I broke my iPhone and for 2 days I had to tweet from my Macbook like a God-dammed homeless person I don't like to talk about it"

"What does a bum call a dumpster. A Bed and Breakfast."

"I never did think of myself as beautiful, terribly attractive, yes, but not beautiful."

"Last night a horse asked me if I was planning on driving home. There might've been a cop on top of it."

"If your bf/gf is mad at you put a cape on them and say, ""Now you're super mad!"" If they laugh marry them."