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Joke of the Day

"If your bf/gf is mad at you put a cape on them and say, ""Now you're super mad!"" If they laugh marry them."

"Answering all the 'how r u' DM's with 'I got my period' is going surprising well"

"I have a tree joke you might like to hear but most of us would be Sycamore. (tree jokes need to be spruced up in my opinion)"

"I was with a girl last night who told me she wanted me to give her 9 inches and make it hurt... so I fucked her twice and hit her with a rock."

"Please, Lady, come home with me. You never know what I'll turn into, at midnight!"

"How many hamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two."

"I'm in a very serious relationship with Batman. My beloved Baeman."

"I take my coffee how I take my women... ground up and in the freezer."

"What did the tailpipe say to the muffler? I'm exhausted. What did the muffler say back? ^mmmmbfmbm"

"I'm not racist I have a black president."