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Joke of the Day

"What does a bum call a dumpster. A Bed and Breakfast."

"Why'd the apple jump in the grinder? He was suicider."

"What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? They are both living off of dead beatles."

"You probably get this a lot but... *punches you in the face*"

"I'll huff I'll puff and I'll smoke all of your stuff. -Big Broke Wolf"

"My grandad is a real inspiration to get healthy, he starting running a mile a day when he was 65.... Now he is 70, we have no idea where he is"

"I ate the last piece of flan that my wife and I have been fighting over I won the custardy battle."

"I bet the only thing more stressful than defusing a bomb is letting your husband pack for a big trip."

"Why couldn't Frodo drop the Ring into Mt. Doom? Force of Hobbit."

"What's it called when you get a boner on a movie set? A direction"