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Joke of the Day

"I never did think of myself as beautiful, terribly attractive, yes, but not beautiful."

"I was so happy to hear Apple added a new camera feature.. With the addition of panorama I can finally send dick pics to my ex wife!!"

"Why don't they let blind people sky dive? It scares the shit out the dogs."

"What's the best thing about having sexy with twenty one year olds? There's twenty of 'em. edit: autocorrect is a bitch - we all know what it should say."

"""Excuse me sir, but there's a Bohemian knight here to collect his fee."" ""Tell him the check is in the mail."""

"What is the difference between period blood and sand? You can't gargle sand!"

"Lil' Kim implies the existence of a larger Kim"

"After watching Interstellar, I really want to buy a Lincoln."

"Apparently 95% of the girl like to be waking up by oral sex !!! Well its not true, ""WHO ARE YOU AND REMOVE THIS FROM MY MOUTH"" Said the girl in the park yesterday !!"

"I didn't think it was possible to travel 10 years back in time until I got into an argument with my wife."