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Joke of the Day

"I'd tell you a cow joke... But it would be UTTERly horrible."

"Every Liam Neeson movie now is just him talking on the phone then killing people, right?"

"What's common between American beer and making love in a canoe? It's fucking close to water."

"Charlie Sheen's herpes have herpes and those herpes have gonorrhea and that gonorrhea had an abortion in high school."

"Reese Witherspoon was arrested Friday night. If some rag doesn't use ""REESE IS FALLING TO PIECES"" as a headline then this world is bullshit."

"How To Be Cool A) Use cool sunglasses emoji. B)"

"Here's what I've been thinking... How can a male have nut allergies?"

"I got kicked out of the procrastinators club when I showed up for our first meeting.."

"I often find myself crying during sex... Probably from the pepper spray..."

"Why do christians avoid trigonometry ? because there is alot of sin going on."