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Joke of the Day
"Every Liam Neeson movie now is just him talking on the phone then killing people, right?"
Next Joke
"Today a feminist asked me how I view lesbians. Apparently ""in HD"" wasn't the right answer."
"There's a metal band that plays while on soapy water. Slipknot"
"A Roman walk into a bar, holds up 2 fingers and says, ""5 drinks, please!"""
"Tell me I'm beautiful ""You're beautiful"" Tell me I'm a genius ""You're a genius"" Tell m- ""Just give me the toilet paper, please"""
"How many /r/news mods does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, but it only takes one to get it [removed]"
"wait did that Australian guy say ""meteorite"" or ""mate are ya alright?"" *gets hit by a meteorite* ""hey mate are ya alri... no you're dead*"
"Definition of Insomnia: Finding a spider in your bedroom & when you leave for a second to get the spray & come back it's gone"
"I'm not sure if my foots been asleep for the last 3 days or if I have diabetes."
"Should America Stop Dumping Money Into a Giant Hole? (theOnion)"