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Joke of the Day

"Why do French people only ever have one egg for breakfast? Because one egg is *un uf*"

"My blind friend just tried LSD for the first time... There was more tripping than usual."

"Every time I see a skidmark in my underwear... I'm confronted with the fact that I shit my pants JUST A LITTLE BIT every day."

"A frittata is just an omelette that studied abroad for a year in college."

"What's the difference between an old Greyhound terminal and a lobster with double D breasts? One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean."

"What do you get when you squish a synagogue? Jews"

"Why did the chewing gum cross the road? 'Cause I stepped on it."

"What gives a gorilla good taste? Four years in an Ivy League school!"

"I've got a kid in Africa that I feed, clothe, school, and inoculate for 75 cents a day. Which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there."

"Couldn't look worse today. Time to run into an ex..."