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Joke of the Day
"*swims up to girl in pool* so do you.. actually this is quite deep jesus *just disappears*"
Next Joke
"2014 Drivers Manual: ""When a signal turns green, honk once to indicate to the car in front of you that they need to lower their smartphone."""
"What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu? For swine flu you need ""Oinkment"", for bird flu you need ""Tweetment""."
"[Dog Court] Judge: How do you find the defendant? Jury: We find the defendant, not a good boy. *dogs family in courtroom begins to cry*"
"If it weren't for double standards, some people would have no standards at all."
"New York Sports"
"Why did the robot get detention? Because he was accused of Boolean."
"A third zebra strolls casually while whistling and pretending to read a newspaper onto Noah's ark."
"Men who claim to only watch the #SuperBowl for the ads are the same ones who say they only read Playboy for the articles."
"What's the difference between a little guy with a pot o' gold and a big gathering where people's limbs are falling off? One's a leprechaun and the other's a leper-con."