138539

Joke of the Day

"My friend showed me her new vegan pants. I know vegans can be annoying and everything, but should we really be making pants out of them?"

"Did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog."

"How do you confuse a blonde? Hold up two shovels and say, ""Take your pick."""

"What do you call a bear with no teeth? A faggot with dentures."

"What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? A synonym roll."

"Are you still looking for a job? I hear they're hiring at the zoo circumcising elephants. The pay is small, but the tips are big!"

"I want minions for Christmas."

"If you ever feel as thought nobody cares about what you do Just post something with a spelling mistake in it."

"To all of the dyslexic population of Reddit: **UNTIE**"

"Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him ""go big or go home"", he only had one option."