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Joke of the Day

"I used to do this impression where I was a blind anaesthetist; stopped 'cause the audience wasn't feelin' it and I couldn't see the point."

Next Joke
 
"What kind of bikes do girls ride? Menstrual Cycles (I'm 99% sure I made this up!)"
"Your wife and your lawyer are drowning. You have a choice to make: Lunch or the movies?"
"A short joke for mobile users [.](http://i.imgur.com/7g4htym.jpg)"
"My girlfriend is a midget and I'm nuts over her"
"Two gay men go into a bar. One says to the other, ""Can I push in your stool?"" Not sure if its a repost. My coworker just told me this."
"What do you call an alligator who's wearing a vest? An investigator."
"What is the difference between a cocktail and a dickbutt? You order a dickbutt at a gay bar."
"Christmas must be a hard time for dyslexic children. They get their presents from Satan."
"If I had 3 wishes I'd spend them on my daughter. Happiness, success and her very own little shithead who refuses to replace the TP roll."