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Joke of the Day

"If I had 3 wishes I'd spend them on my daughter. Happiness, success and her very own little shithead who refuses to replace the TP roll."

"Don't you hate it when people mirror your joke and get all the credit? p ll pu o no o ldod u no ,uop"

"Okay to tell dead Steve Jobs jokes now? What's the difference between cancer and the middle class? At least cancer got Jobs."

"How do you confuse a blonde? Give her a coloring book, and tell her to color in all the pages with a white crayon."

"Why is Klezmer music so addictive? Once you Hava Nagila, you'll want another!"

"""Relax. It's not a competition."" ""Right. That's what I say."" ""But I said it first."""

"WIFE: The 2 things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie. HUSBAND: Which is this?"

"[hospital] SON: I came as soon as I heard. What happened? DAD: The oying hit me SON: What's an oying? DAD: You are, kiddo *dies*"

"BlackBerry: being significantly less obvious than a magazine to carry into the office shitter since 2002."

"DENTIST: let's get started, shall we? *places drill on tray* ME: um D: *places giant needle on tray* ME: uhhhhh D: *places handgun on tray*"