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Joke of the Day

"What do Mexicans use to slice pizza? Little Caesers"

"My dad almost caught me watching midget porn. Thankfully I put my finger on the screen in time."

"Do the the fatty acids get picked on by the other acids?"

"""BRING ME THE FOETUS' OF 3 CHICKENS"" *Maniacal stare* ""Listen dude, its called an omelette,a 3 egg omelette"" ""AND THE BLOOD OF 4 ORANGES"""

"Zelda: Why aren't you mowing the lawn? Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight"

"LAWYER: where were you Oct 13th? ME: alibi school LAWYER: can u prove this? ME: wait, the 13th? LAWYER: ya ME: k no I was murdering that day"

"Something happened to me yesterday that will never ever happen to me again. How can you be so sure? I was 10 years old yesterday."

"I just had to think to remember how to write a capital ""P"", so if anyone needs a tutor for their kid or anything, hit me up."

"What do you call Kansas overrun by pirates? Arkansas"

"What do you call a guy with no shins? Tony..... toe knee"