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Joke of the Day

"LAWYER: where were you Oct 13th? ME: alibi school LAWYER: can u prove this? ME: wait, the 13th? LAWYER: ya ME: k no I was murdering that day"

"Did you hear about the witch who ate 10 packs of gum? She had some double bubble toilet trouble."

"This subreddit is literally full of Ellen Pao right now. Here's what I have to say about it [removed]"

"How do you know if you're a bogan? You let your 15 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table... in front of her kids."

"Who punishes Colorado underage smokers? COPD"

"What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their parents? Roommates"

"How do you know the rules of football was written by an Italian? You switch sides at half time."

"I asked this vampire to think quietly about what he'd done but then I remembered they can't reflect."

"With the recent events in the news... My Facebook friends list is starting to look like the French revolution."

"What do you call a blind German? A 'not-see'."