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Joke of the Day
"why do they call them light bulbs? they don't weigh very much"
Next Joke
"Can we install an *eyeroll* button on twitter?"
"What's Donald Trump's favorite kind of bubble gum? Bigly chew."
"No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse."
"This Christmas... This Christmas, Donald Trump's hair becomes sentient and nukes canada. Only one Democratic Socialist can prevent a total World War. Bernie Sanders stars... in HELL TOUPEE"
"You can take the girl out of the food court, but not this girl. I'm staying."
"How do we know God is not a woman? Because the Earth is not a sandwich!"
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING!"
"Men are like animals: messy insensitive and potentially violent but they make great pets."
"Big shoutout to my neighbors, who left their back door open accidentally, when I needed a few things and didn't want to go to the store..."