156133
Joke of the Day
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING!"
Next Joke
"I've been trying to figure out why I overslept today. Just realized drunk me set my calculator for $7.30."
"""I'm a people person."" - outgoing guy. ""I'm a geese goose."" - outgoing goose."
"What do you call someone who failed rehab? Back on crack"
"Apparently the capital of Israel is totally impoverished. It's a real Jerusaslum"
"My preschooler talks a lot of trash when we play Chutes and Ladders for someone who needs help counting his spaces."
"How can you tell Sofia Vergara's children on the playground? They're the ones with stretch marks on their lips."
"What's the difference between anal sex and an oven? The oven doesn't fart when you take the meat out."
"*gets toy out of packaging, earns engineering degree"
"good news and bad news. bad news is the dog pissed on the bed ""we don't have a dog"" *smiles getting ready to deliver the good news*"