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Joke of the Day

"I beat up some eggs with an egg beater. They kept cracking yokes at me."

"Ladies ... I will solve the argument of the proper skirt length for you. The proper length is at least 2 inches below your cellulite"

"I got fired from my job as a taxi driver. Turns out my customers didn't like it when I tried to go the extra mile."

"What do ghosts serve for dessert? I Scream."

"What's the difference between pussy and parsley? Who the fuck eats parsley?"

"I came home to find shit all over my rug. Owning a dog would really help me feel better right about now."

"So this dude is like, ""Where are you going with all that Element 83?"" and I was like ""None of your bismuth"""

"there's a guy with a pt cruiser at the car wash bet it's hard to keep clean when girls are just constantly smashing their pussies against it"

"What do Amy Winehouse and Jeremy Clarkson have in common? They were both on top gear."

"Wanna hear a joke about a German sausage? Nevermind, it's my wurst joke"