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Joke of the Day

"I came home to find shit all over my rug. Owning a dog would really help me feel better right about now."

"Do you know why ants are so healthy? Because they have little antibodies..."

"I want to be a brick layer, I'm shittin bricks left and right.haha"

"My greatest acting performance is when I check the caller ID, then adopt an air of polite curiosity as I answer the phone ""Hello?"""

"WAITER: How is everything? ME: Soul crushing and void of meaning W: I meant your meal M: Soul crushing, void of meaning, and needs salt"

"I would tell you a good cheesy joke, But I lactase"

"""Got kicked out of the hokey pokey class for putting it in, when I was supposed to be shaking it all about."""

"Mexican Olympics Why can't Mexico field a winning Olympic team? Because everyone that can run, jump or swim is in the US."

"What I hate about pasta is how they change the shape and act like it's a different food. I'm out to expose the fraud."

"What political party entices most Gorillas? The Treepublican Party!"