205020
Joke of the Day
"What do Amy Winehouse and Jeremy Clarkson have in common? They were both on top gear."
Next Joke
"Are people with OCD upset that those letters aren't in alphabetical order?"
"One day Canada will conquer the galaxy... And they'll call it the *Milky Eh*."
"I never give money to those Salvation Army people because I know they're just gonna spend it on more bells."
"[soldier making lunch] Now for some avocado [grabs grenade] oh oh, if this is here then that means [cut to soldier taking cover for 5 hours]"
"I thought I was getting a car for christmas... turns out all I got was a toy Yoda"
"When I was younger, I was so stupid, I made bad decisions that will haunt me for the rest of my life. And by ""younger"" I mean yesterday."
"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? You give him aids"
"How many dead-heads does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just let it burn out and follow it around for twenty years."
"Where do baby apes sleep? Apricots."