210075

Joke of the Day

"I was going to make a scene when they told me I couldn't join the Easter Egg hunt... ...instead I just left without a Peep."

"*cop approaches me* ""have u seen this girl?"" *holds up photo* ""yeah I've seen her, NAKED"" *hi-5* ""haha but seriously shes in my trunk"""

"What kind of soda do dogs drink? Barq's Root beer."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming in panic like everyone else in the car."

"If there's ever an apocalypse, you'll recognize me because I'll be the zombie wearing flip flops"

"My favorite new song is either that one from the Samsung commercial, or the one from the Budweiser commercial."

"The anti pick-up line. ""Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? [pause while smiling] Because it looks like you landed on your face"" I'd love to hear some of yours."

"I posted a joke about ISIS killing themselves with their own bombs You can view it @ http://puu.sh/j83On/f79d53bf57.png"

"Why did the chicken fall into the well? Because she couldn't see that well."

"Coworker: How are you doing this morning? Me: *finishing hanging bag of coffee upside down like an IV and tying my arm off* Fine, you?"