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Joke of the Day

"What kind of soda do dogs drink? Barq's Root beer."

"Why did the duck cross the playground? To get to the other slide."

"Bowling is the perfect activity when I'm in the mood to stick my fingers in disease-ridden holes, but your mom is unavailable."

"Cut the shit, people who think I'm going to share my arm rest at the movie theater."

"""This is your captain speaking"" ""AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING."""

"What could Boston Marathon Bombers do that Hitler couldn't? End a race."

"What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons? Jose and Hose B. It sounds better when said aloud."

"Lord, give me patience because if you give me strength then I'm gonna need some bail money on the side."

"My hell is a giant Bath & Body Works store ...where all the women answer yes/no questions with ""stories""."

"What happened to the Marine that took a laxative? He was relieved of doodie."