120483

Joke of the Day

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming in panic like everyone else in the car."

"Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing."

"What did one dead American cop say to the other dead American cop? Waaazzzzzzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappppppp."

"Magic A magician is driving down a road and turns into a driveway."

"HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO, OR AS IT'S KNOWN AS IN ARIZONA, ""CINCO DE WHAT-O? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST-O, PACO"""

"Oh you have Swag? ...that's cool, hey, can you Super Size my Fries?"

"Wife called up her mom and said, ""He fought with me again,I'm coming to live with you."" Mom replied, no no my daughter, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to stay with you."

"I recently dated a slutty check with a brain fetish. The experience was mindblowing!"

"What was the working title for 10 Cloverfield Lane? ""You're not wrong, Walter, you're just an asshole."""

"How does it feel to crash a rental car? It Hertz."