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Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken fall into the well? Because she couldn't see that well."

"My friend starting hearing bagpipes in the back of his head I swear, I think he has Scotsophrenia."

"I could tell you a joke about Bill Murray in Japan; it would be lost in translation."

"Help 9-1-1! I just found my husband! He's been drugged in his coffee and then stabbed with a pen knife but that didn't work and then shot!"

"I just took the garbage out. In 3D."

"No matter how tough you think you are, there's always a closed pistachio ready to mess you up."

"I don't see why everybody wants a white iPhone... Everyone knows the black ones run faster!"

"My neighbors son asked me to explain women to him. So I bought him an Xbox game for his PlayStation."

"If you ever see a sloth moving a little faster than usual, it's because he's trying to get to a party before the hors d'oeuvres are gone."

"Wait, Fellatio isn't a flavor of ice cream?!"