209915
Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between me and a calendar? You can't fuck the shit out of a calendar"
Next Joke
"Give a girl an inch and she'll want the other 6 too"
"What do you call a fight between Jews? A roast"
"*Pillsbury Doughboy approaches mic* I would like to apologize for my recent actions, but would remind you I never claimed to be a roll model"
"I hate it when my girlfriend tells me she's about to come I have shitty cellphone reception."
"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank his coffee before it was cool."
"TOASTER OVEN: Do you really need another Hot Pocket? ME: You shut your mouth TO: If I shut my mouth will you stop putting Hot Pockets in it"
"Leprechauns Why are leprechauns always laughing when they're running? Because the grass is tickling their nuts"
"Jupit. Jupiter. Jupitest."
"I would tell you my joke about necrophelia... But that would be fucking lifeless of me"