193910

Joke of the Day

"{marriage counseling} I guess it all started when I saw him put the toothpaste on before the water... *therapist scribbles furiously*"

"My grandpa has the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the zoo."

"What do you call a train full of Jews? Doesn't matter they're not coming back."

"Han solo vs Redditor Han: NEVER tell me the odds! Redditor: I don't even."

"What happened when the Easter Bunny caught his head in the fan? It took ears off his life!"

"What fever did Joe Dirt catch on vacation after getting bit by a mosquito? Deeeeeeeeeeengue"

"Pancake day has really crepe'd up on me this year."

"COP: Did the suspect have a birthmark? MARK: He's alive so I'm assuming he had a birth, yes."

"The guy behind me at the grocery store only had energy drinks, root beer & gummie lifesavers, so I asked how far into assassins creed he was"

"[notice son's not home] [text] Me: IT'S AFTER MIDNIGHT! I SAID HOME BY 11! 17: You were my ride. Me: Oh. Where are you again?"