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Joke of the Day

"I was going to dress up as a turn signal for Halloween But no one around here knows what the hell that is!"

"Why do Mexicans make refried beans? Ever heard of a Mexican doing something right the first time"

"Dear Google Maps, Don't insult me by telling me to head ""southwest"". If I knew where southwest was, I wouldn't be using you. Kthnxbye"

"My wife has the body of a 16 year old She keeps it in the fridge."

"TIFU getting fired from the calendar factory All I did was take a day off."

"Friends are like trees They fall down when you hit them with an axe"

"What's the best thing about an 8 year old in the shower?..... You can slick her hair back and make her look 6."

"What are terrorists taught in math class? Jihadmetry. What do they learn about? ISISciles triangles."

"Turn yoga class into hot yoga by chasing everyone around with a blow torch."

"what""s the difference between tuna and chicken? a shower"