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Joke of the Day

"When I was a kid, I would launch Hamsters and other small rodents in my model rockets. I called it the Gerbil Space Program."

"What does a gang member do when he arrives at work first thing in the morning? He Glocks in"

"People who knock on my front door really need to give up these unrealistic expectations that I'm going to answer"

"A tale of two tomatoes. Once there were two tomatoes crossing a street when a car hit one of them. The one not hit turns around and says nothing due to the shock he had seeing his friend die."

"Why the big pause................................? Said the man in the pub to the bear. First heard this joke told by Eddie Izzard."

"A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat The bartender says ""Put that back you thief!"""

"Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He comes once a year! :-)"

"What's the similarity between pessimists and people with a phobia of sausages? They both fear the wurst"

"A homeless guy asked me ""would you give me $5 for a sandwich?"" I said ""I don't know man, show me the sandwich first."""

"The doctor tells his patient, ""Well, I can't find anything wrong with you. I suspect the problem is heavy drinking."" The patient asks, ""Should I come back when you've sobered up?"