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Joke of the Day

"The doctor tells his patient, ""Well, I can't find anything wrong with you. I suspect the problem is heavy drinking."" The patient asks, ""Should I come back when you've sobered up?"

"How do skeletons kiss? They don't. Skeletons don't have lips, they just bone."

"What do you call a retarded Flo Rida? Slo Rida"

"Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste **funny**."

"I just got an email that Netzero closed my account due to inactivity, I guess that must have taken 12 years to get here."

"Whats brown & sticky? A stick."

"If you've ever wondered which of your friends loved V for Vendetta, you're in luck today."

"Google+ is starting to sound like a half-way house for people that aren't phony enough for Facebook but aren't edgy enough for Twitter."

"Last night, my Chevy was bitten by a vampire. Now it's Vlad the Impala."

"*raises the bar 16 yrs later] Bar: even though you weren't my real father I always wanted to call you, dad. Dad. *me trying not to cry"