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Joke of the Day

"A tale of two tomatoes. Once there were two tomatoes crossing a street when a car hit one of them. The one not hit turns around and says nothing due to the shock he had seeing his friend die."

"If you could have one super power what would it be? Cold War Russia."

"Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster? A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans."

"I always have too much month left at the end of my money."

"What did Cinderella say when her photos didn't arrive on time? One day my prints will come."

"You know how they say your smile is your strongest weapon? Tell that to my friend who stood still smiling when a thief asked him for all his money"

"Earth: Goodnight Moon Moon: ... Earth: I said Goodnight Moon' Moon: ... Earth: Look, I don't choose which days they celebrate Moon: Whatever"

"College cheerleaders look like no one has told them about human mortality yet."

"Everyone's an atheist until they're making a phone call & praying it goes to voicemail"

"There are 10 types of people in this world... Those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who weren't expecting this joke to be in base 3"