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Joke of the Day

"Growing up, I had lots of nicknames but my best would always be 'Officer! That's him over there'... It gave me my sprinter's physique."

Next Joke
 
"i'm supposed to train the intern to do what i do every day, but i'm not sure how comfortable i am giving him my twitter & facebook passwords"
"How do you kill a troll? Take away its internet access."
"I drank half a bottle of NyQuil and tried to call Audrey Hepburn on my microwave"
"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because you put on the wrong sock this morning."
"What's a mole's favourite fruit? An Avagadro."
"Just finishing up my taxes and am now a little worried about my tax software. It just recommended I slip across the border into Mexico."
"How does Australians have sex? They mate"
"I wish my cat would squirt me with the water bottle when I go to eat junk food."
"Saw some Advil on the floor this morning and sincerely thought ""Better just leave it there so I know where it is."""