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Joke of the Day

"What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping? A clean sheet."

"How long do I microwave these turtles before I can teach them karate?"

"What's the difference between... What's the difference between a women's track team and a pack of intelligent pygmies? The pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts..."

"What did the square say to the root? ""Radical"""

"I'd kill for Opie's pizza. Unfortunately, they never deliver. :("

"Roses are red. Violets are....red Tulips are red My garden is on fire."

"It gets cold in Alaska during the winter. Juneau what I mean?"

"When life gives you lemons, make a dress with them. -Lady Gaga"

"North West: Daddy what were you famous for? Kanye: Rapping, Son. North West: mommy what were you famous for? ((awkward silence))"

"Why is North Korea so evil? Because it's got no Seoul!"