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Joke of the Day

"If a girl texts you and asks if you think she's fat and you try to respond ""Nooo"" autocorrect changes it to ""Moo"" so that's pretty cool."

"The main reason I tell my daughter that beauty is on the inside is because I'm in charge of her ponytail in the mornings."

"Why didn't the waffle go to the pancake party? He was a square."

"8y:thank you for the present grandma ....: no need.. 8y: that's what I thought too but mum said I have to"

"Why was the graveyard so noisy? Because of all the coffin."

"A man knighted for how he stood while ejaculating Sircumstance"

"When you swallow a spider in your sleep, eat some dead flies the morning after to ensure the spider gives you a positive Trip Advisor rating"

"Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold until your battery is dead."

"Why couldn't cinderella play soccer? She always ran away from the ball"

"If you visit a city, make sure you buy a T-shirt with that cities name on it so people know you went to that city."