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Joke of the Day
"Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold until your battery is dead."
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"""I have found our arguments quite useful - almost as useful as those I had with my father."" - Spock and the guy I end up marrying."
"Always leave the shower curtains open. *things I learned from horrors"
"What is the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has its claws at the end of its paws and a comma is the pause at the end of a clause."
"5 out of 1 dentists agree, they have multiple-personality disorder"
"Hey, you have something in your teeth! Person B: What? Person A: Plaque."
"Why do they bury lawyers 20 feet deep? Because deep down, they're good people. Thanks Saul."
"So, I met this Dutch girl with inflatable shoes the other day.... ....I called her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs."
"Pinot? I hardly noir."
"Marriage is a workshop.........The husband works & The wife shops"