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Joke of the Day

"8y:thank you for the present grandma ....: no need.. 8y: that's what I thought too but mum said I have to"

"Q: How do you get a blonde off of your knees? A: Come."

"After a night of drinking, John walks into a metal bar The music was great and he hooks up with a beautiful blonde. He awakes at the hospital with a mild concussion."

"What's the difference between me and my couch? My couch pulls out"

"(At a funeral) Im so sorry for your loss. I know how it feels to lose something you love. Last year Taylor Swift took her music off Spotify."

"I don't remember all of last night but the fact I needed sunglasses to open the fridge this morning tells me it was awesome!"

"What are the famous last words of a redneck? ""Hey ya'll, watch this!"""

"My neighbor's diary says I have boundary issues."

"Why was the ground all white after Custer's last stand ? The Indians just kept coming and coming"

"What does an empty bottle of Champaign and an orphan have in common? Nether of them have a pop."