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Joke of the Day

"The main reason I tell my daughter that beauty is on the inside is because I'm in charge of her ponytail in the mornings."

"'Why are you crying Ted ?' asked his mum. 'Because my new sneakers hurt.' 'That's because you have put them on the wrong feet.' 'But they are the only feet I have.'"

"Holy Week joke: What was Jesus doing on Holy Saturday? Just chilling."

"I see your childhood joke and raise you mine: What object crashes the most? A kaleidoscope!"

"Mommy, why am I getting my Christmas presents in august? ""Because it's cheaper than chemo"""

"Why was the Adobe Acrobat document arrested? It was a PDF file."

"Hey bro, how did you get so strong? By picking up chicks in the gym"

"I have an apathy problem. But it's okay because I don't care."

"What do you call the illegitimate son of a man with a big face? A cheeky bastard."

"When someone says ""surprise me"", I immediately drop my pants and start singing its raining men."