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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell if someone who's just had a perm is on the phone? You get a frizzy signal!"

"the thing i hate about job applications Job applications are like, ""If you're working & Frank looks upset, what do you do? I turn around and do my job, fuck Frank"

"What do you call a Lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung"

"Wait a second, so violence is an actual resort? That place sounds wonderful."

"Yesterday, my dog was humping my leg So stupid, had to show him where my butthole was."

"I used too much anti-aging cream and now I am a tiny baby."

"My wife's sexual fantasy is to be with another man. Mine is to have two girls at the same time. I think she misunderstood because now we have twin daughters from the mailman."

"It's not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later."

"I wrote a song about cutting down trees. It's not a snappy tune, it just lumbers along."

"Why do they call it PMS? Because mad cow disease was already taken"