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Joke of the Day

"I used too much anti-aging cream and now I am a tiny baby."

"THE HORROR! *splat THE TRAGEDY! *splat IT'S AWFUL! *splat SO MUCH BLOOD! *splat WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?! *splat -It's raining men."

"After a concert Bono started clapping and then said ""Every time I clap, a child dies in Africa"" . . . Someone from the audience chimed ""Stop fucking clapping then"""

"My wife is all, ""we love each other so much we finish each other's sentences,"" until it comes to a prison sentence."

"Did you know that Iceland has the death penalty! It's called Ramadan"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A ""Lickalotofpuss""."

"A teenage boy asks his granny: 'Have you seen my pills, they are labelled LSD? Granny: ""Fuck the pills; have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?"""

"Why did the french chef go to the police? Escargot stolen."

"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Why the long face?"" The horse responds, ""Because my daughter just died of leukemia."""

"Black History Month should be called ""Four Weeks Of Morgan Freeman's Voiceover Work"""