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Joke of the Day

"So these two blondes walk into a building.. You would have thought one of them would have seen it."

"The Mexican Magician A Mexican magician declares that he will disappear on the count of three. He begins to count, ""uno, dos..."" *POOF* The magician vanished without a tres."

"If resting on one's laurels is like sitting on your butt and a ""hardy"" is a hard-on... Does that mean that the combination of Laurel and Hardy makes Dickbutt?"

"Did you hear about the computer that ate an entire hamburger in one go? It was a megabyte."

"how do I keep my skin looking so young? it's all thanks to [turns to camera smiling] an ancient curse [locusts pour from my mouth & eyes]"

"How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the mouth."

"the flight attendant came down the aisle holding out a bag of trash to me and i was like ""sure what the hell"" and grabbed a couple pieces"

"What is a polygon? A dead parrot."

"A man walks out of a toilet cubicle with semen coming out both sides of his mouth, what do you know? The floors are level"

"If you're married to your dick... would you be a wife beater?"