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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst thing about getting your keys locked in your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go inside to ask for a coat hanger."

"Racist joke,(answer this BEFORE you click) What do you call a black man flying a plane? No!!! A pilot! A fucking pilot! You racist bastard!"

"I wasted 400 years of my life trying to figure out if I was a vampire."

"I asked my dad if I was adopted... He said, ""No, but not from lack of trying."""

"Who'd win if Batman fought Santa? Before u say Batman, just remember who's watching you answer."

"Nurse: ""It says here you're lacoste intolerant? Is that a typo?"" Me: ""No. I just really, really can't stand polos with crocodiles on them."""

"Asians be like... ay bb u wan sum duck?"

"My wife just woke me up to tell me... Wait. June is over? You must be... JULYing."

"There's a fine line between being a drug addict and a recreational user... ...and I snorted the whole thing."

"Q: What's Slimy, cold, green, and smells like pork? A: Kermit the Frog's Finger"