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Joke of the Day

"I asked my dad if I was adopted... He said, ""No, but not from lack of trying."""

"The news from Australia yesterday was terrifying That poor Muslim guy, I'd hate to be trapped in a room full of Australians too."

"Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window... If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in..."

"What do you call a Cuban Atheist? Infidel Castro."

"What do you get when you combine a mountain climber with a mosquito? Nothing! You can't cross scalars and vectors."

"Girlfriend caught you looking at another woman? Turn to your girl and tell her that you're glad she doesn't dress like that."

"What does Hillary Clinton use to drown the noise of Black Lives Matter protesters? White noise"

"Roses are red, Roses are blue, Roses are white, Genetics."

"Pretty sure the ""FINISH HIM"" guy from Mortal Kombat is giving relationship advice to every girl I date."

"I want to die like my grandfather . ..peaceful . . . ready to go. Not kicking and screaming like the passengers in his car"