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Joke of the Day

"""Eat me,"" said the noun ""Say what?"" said the verb. ""Eat me,"" repeated the noun, word for word. ""Uhh...okay."" Verbatim."

"What's the best part about sleeping with twenty five year olds? There's twenty of them."

"What did the policeman say to his belly button? You're under a vest!"

"What's the difference between a chick pea and a walnut? I've never had a walnut on my face."

"Why is vagina better than cake? Because you can have your vagina and eat it, too!"

"Apparently being a mother is the hardest job in the world. They're probably right. I can definitely see brain surgeons struggling to put Frozen into a DVD player."

"This just popped in my head... What's a mexican's favorite Disney movie? Mow lawn. Sorry."

"Why did Hitler have a thing for men from Hungary? Because they are Hung Arian's"

"Blood is Thicker than water, but maple syrup is Thicker than blood. Therefore, pancakes are more important than family."

"Hope to get down to a weight where people don't think I have an opinion on movies."