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Joke of the Day

"Nurse: ""It says here you're lacoste intolerant? Is that a typo?"" Me: ""No. I just really, really can't stand polos with crocodiles on them."""

"As a younger man, I used to think women were only good for one thing... As I've gotten older I've realized......I'm better at doing that myself too."

"Two medical students are about to witness an autopsy for the first time... One asks the other, ""What do you think it'll be like?"" The other student shrugs and says, ""Remains to be seen""."

"As if "" cray cray"" wasn't irritating enough, people have started shortening it to "" cray""....that's just stu stu"

"Got kicked out of the casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something."

"My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be."

"""Wanna see a movie?"" ""Can't. Don't exist yet."" ""Shit."" (1700s)"

"It's cute how the news wants me to stick around until 11 for the forecast. As if I didn't have 17 other ways to get that info in seconds."

"What do you call a group of rabbits, standing single file, hopping backwards? A receding hare line!"

"How do you know you are at r/jokes? The guys all look like they played football for Bronx HighSchool of Science"