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Joke of the Day

"I have 12 fish, 5 drown how many do I have left? 12! Fish cant drown! (Dont be that guy and tell the truth about fish drowning)"

"*Hulk smashes thru courtroom wall* SOMEONE ASK FOR INCREDIBLE WITNESS?! Judge- no, CREDIBLE! Hulk- shit HULK VERRY SORRY BOUT YOUR WALL"

"What does Miller Light and having sex in a canoe have in common? They're both fucking close to water."

"Dear White People, Stop making videos of yourselves singing songs from 'Frozen'!"

"What's it like never being flaccid? Hard."

"I'm gonna have sex on new year's day... To start the new year with a bang."

"What did the dolphin say to the frog? Eeeee eeee eeeee ieeeee eeee eee. Dolphins don't talk dummy."

"What's the definition of a period? A bloody waste of fucking time."

"ME: want anything for breakfast? BOSS: just banana [struggling to hold office door shut] ANA: let me in! ME: sorry boss said to ban you"

"#BPMovies 20,000 Leaks Under the Sea."