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Joke of the Day

"What did the dolphin say to the frog? Eeeee eeee eeeee ieeeee eeee eee. Dolphins don't talk dummy."

"When my mum was in labour.... When my mum was in labour, my head got stuck in her fanny and the midwife had to pull me out. That's how excited I was to see my little brother."

"ITEMS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD OWN: -Little Black Dress -Cute flats -Strappy s- ok now that the men have stopped reading, we revolt at dawn."

"I'm gonna make a good dad one day... Lady Friend: ""I'm in Times Squares!"" Me: ""Did you just text me an incomplete math problem?"" Lady Friend: ""You can barely do algebra..."""

"I feel like before a bee stings a human, all his dumb bee friends are like ""you can totally take him."""

"Scientists recently discovered the source of the quark... It's the sound made by a posh duck."

"The Mexican Magician A Mexican magician declares that he will disappear on the count of three. He begins to count, ""uno, dos..."" *POOF* The magician vanished without a tres."

"I was being recruited for suicide bombing... I asked the recruiter, ""what are the perks of being a suicide bomber?"" And he replied, ""well, for starters, you get to go all over the place!"""

"Wife. I'm going to bed. Me. Nooo! Don't leave me alone with the fridge."

"If the rumors about Apple manufacturing a driverless car... Then I can't wait to drive into the middle of the Atlantic ocean!"