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Joke of the Day

"My whole life is that moment when you send an important e-mail mentioning an attachment without the actual attachment."

"What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant? Swimming trunks!"

"I found out how to make my penis 2 inches bigger Just spend a year in space"

"What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream? The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)"

"Asked my friend from North Korea how has life been going? He said he couldn't complain.."

"I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one."

"*Really attractive person waves at me in their car*-*I wave back enthusiastically*-*realizes they were just putting their visor down*"

"If my grandmother was on Twitter, I bet most of her tweets would be about raisins."

"I had no idea Instagram was down until a girl in front of me at Starbucks cancelled her order, saying ""Instagram is down it's useless"""

"If my phone is so ""smart"" how come it keeps letting me drunk dial my ex"