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Joke of the Day

"*Really attractive person waves at me in their car*-*I wave back enthusiastically*-*realizes they were just putting their visor down*"

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Curly ! Curly who ? Curly Q !"

"Did you see Matt Damon's character in Invictus? That's apartheid like to play."

"BALD FLEAS Q; What do you call two fleas on top of a bald head? A: Homeless."

"I just couldn't stop watching the video about mechanically joining metal... It was riveting."

"My talking dog gave me a stick the other day and told me he found it 600 miles away. That's a bit far-fetched."

"lets modernize Hey Arnold fellas this will be hilarious... Hey Ackbar! ""move it towelhead"""

"What do you call a midget who directs Dirty Jobs? A Micromanager."

"""I'm getting sick of eating airline food all the time."" Said the Malaysian shark."

"I wish there was a job that required me to pet a room full of basset hounds all day long."